Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Randomize
