i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
