this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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