He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
