But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
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