he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
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