What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
