whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
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