I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Randomize
