I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
