I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I just found a bag of teeth...
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
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