I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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