okay pat passed out under dana's car
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
