Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
