haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
