Your mouth is God's brothel.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Drake has all the answers
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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