I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
