summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
