did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
