hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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