some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
