i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
