I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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