He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
