if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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