so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
