I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
is wine microwaveable?
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
