how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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