put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
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