She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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