But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
