no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
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