Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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