This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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