we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
