i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
