you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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