Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Randomize
