I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
