we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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