i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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