1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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