You really coming over, don't trick.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Randomize
