Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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