It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
