Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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