So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
