So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I feel like a drive thru vagina
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
