If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
