Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
